Cin-digi Journal

     The vast blue sky My diminutive  sorrows Burn behind The further we go.      With my rain coats and your fervor We take off for a far cottage Where twice a day the tide rages  Always, salt air in our faces.       And this will be our hideaway Sleepless nights without you, I've gathered Now exchanged for a clear look   Of this silver moon  up high. If from the shores we were birthed Then her waves, we shall become.      I was made to walk on sea gravel, To taste brine on your lips While the ocean carries us into our human And its rhythmic crashing drowns us out.      An azure humming  Yet our voices are never too loud.      In your arms, I could drown,  I could cry, I could break Let the whitecaps muffle our sounds.      Imitating the tidal waters In and out with palpitation Until the world begins to quiver And my teeth tastes of metal....

Death will have the face of my father  my mother's embrace, my granny's bike.  It will sit with me on the front porch during the relatives' Lunar New Year visits, smelling fond of expensive candies and red lucky money. It will curl up with me on the couch, watching my father reorganizes his paperwork and vinyls for a work trip My mother prepares dinner It would be there in my parents' bedroom. I would be small again, enough that I still fit on their bed. Then I would fall asleep And maybe, I would wake up, my mother by my side, favorite stuffy in my arms The TV playing familiar tunes  My granny's down in the kitchen making breakfast My father and the relatives would arrive by bus real soon.  Then all of us are at the dining table My grandfather is here too, in suit and tie, not a hospital gown My cousins would beckon me over  And we would make a mess while running about.  Death will cradle me in its arms  The serenity of my childhood would replay over ...

 The asphyxiation of a duvet's chrysalis Still can't be as hot as the wrap of your arms around my body; still can't be as heavy as your pleas sinking down on me.  You beg me to make it stop To curl into you and sleep To not be afraid of a love so tender But how could I throw up what I once were? Because what didn't kill me Pulls me off of my bed with the burnt remnants of the day and sprawls across my chest While you're somewhere far away. The disgust that I couldn't end Would become a hare rubbing at my feet incessantly reminding me of it's existence. one so repulsive Eyeing the white bunny in my hands. How could you ever love a roadkill Full of filth and bleeding out on concreate? Don't you ever get tired of saving me every time? Don't you ever get tired of holding me in your arms? Breathing and limping Just for me to leap out again towards the road. Your patience is burning but I keep feeding off of it You can's save something that finds joy ...

 1)  The silence after I relapsed is the silence that tears everything apart from the inside out. The silence after I relapsed buzzes like a helicopter miles away stirring the world yet nowhere to be seen. The silence of the therapist's office her yellow lamp the couch cushion against my seat again i'm fourteen. The silence that clings to us the silence that deafens me and a promise i didn't keep now a teary plea.  Is this a call for help or an apology, a way to cope or an epiphany? The silence after I relapsed still not sure which part is mine.  2)   Tình yêu như nắng Qua kẽ lá xanh Hạ đi đông đến Nắng vẫn rũ vàng Tình là họng súng Của kẻ mộng mơ Một lần súng rít Ngỡ như muôn đời Tình là trẻ nhỏ Chỉ vui tíu tít tình nào đâu biết người chẳng mong chờ 3) Chết  Là giọt sương giăng trên gỗ đá Là nước mắt nóng trên thịt da Là màu xanh trên gốm trắng Là khói đỏ trên mong manh. Chết đi cũng lại là một ngày nắng một vòng mặt trời xoay một câu ru em cuối phố phận t...

  [  " Xin cho con được thế lời đình chiến Dâng thân mình nơi sóng máu trào lên Xin cho con sang đất người trong lặng lẽ Khẽ ngoái nhìn giang sơn bình yên"     - The Flob, Lầu Lâm Ba ]       Silk floated across the bridge, —, the monkey of twelve eighty-five. To you who shone like moon on the sixteenth yet the frailty of mankind lust of men, charred spear.  no one could’ve saved us then.      a piece of you for the peace of all but if you follow the invaders you too would bleed as an intruder —or so they said, the day you were sent away. You closed your eyes to the silver moon as it kissed your forehead  in the lamenting carnage of a lacerated palace  and the lesions of those you don’t even know so now, the nation’s unrequited peacekeeper.     An Tư  benevolence what did you see when you looked back at home send a wind, blow into the depth of your frozen blanket and rouge  —think you belong, st...

 (short poems from my note app, May of 2026. They're distinct from the long poems I've posted on the blog. Too lazy to make them longer.) 1) no? I swore I would never be like him Yet here I am, walking the stairs to the top floor To the altar of my ancestors  And I'm furious  when our offerings are out of place and im chanting to the death who don't even know my face neither do i want theirs Breathing in that stuffy air.  I swore I would never speak like him Yet sitting on the couch with my sister, ice cream bowls on our laps I'm talking about how hard our parents worked for this How she has to try her best How she has it so easy How much better their lives would have been if it wasn't for us.  It's the same cadence the same words the same face I swear I never wanted it to turn out this way.  Could have skipped that supper and stand up from the dining table Could have said it to his face that our parents choose this life not us Could have let him know that ...

The girl on the internet Has too big a bed, too small a waist, too bright her eyes.  The girl on the internet whose skin is porcelain, translucent  gleams under the beach's bioluminescence. The girl on the internet  Dances to club lasers, has too much space in her corset. The girl on the internet  Lives off of her never-ending smile Her freckles like stardust, and she sings about how from them we come to life. The girl on the internet, rheumy eyes that sedates me into oblivion. The girl on the internet Kisses you through the screen. She knows you have wished that I were her  The girl on the internet she will pixelate and my eyes will open. looks too deep and you will find a pore The girl on the internet No better than a liar. The girl on the internet whose stomach pokes out of her skirt whose arms too pale you can't see the scars  who tossed away her third dinner this week  who I know is a trickster from afar. The girl from the internet Doesn't so path...