that day when it rained and i cried after your car pulled out of the driveway

 * 8:54   

    September rains on us 

with its dreary dawns.

I greet mother Earth

umbrella panel brushing 

her lush,

quivering arms. 

    Dewdrops, like heavy

along with my eyes 

grow rheumy.

Salty water on my

collarbones and shoulders

that, and 

sobbing fleece on my arm,

from the season's sulky weather.

    Temperature keeps dropping

I watch water rains down 

the world experiences myopia. 

* 10:47

    Zeus's knuckles rasps agaisnt

the classroom's 

glass windows. 

    Yawning and dawdling the morning away

for there's barely any warmth.

The sun amuses itself

with hide and seek.

    That, is

 Earth's stale pastime

We join. 

    I hide under my eyelids 

Cold fiberboard against my cheek

Come, now, look for me.

     

    But?

we lost against the star. 

So the children sigh

disheartenment of losing. 

we continue our morning

and the sun stays hiding. 

* 12:02

    The tempest begins to lighten 

clouds leaving their canvas around us

but this torrent still clings to your skin

and falls asleep on it

leaving you in frost. 

* 19:00

 

    I replay your heartbeat

while waiting for dinner to boil 

Sufjan Stevens on repeat 

thoughts curl

away with steam. Expecting you.

* 20:15

    Bedroom door pants itself shut 

while guilt teases my tongue

and eyelashes are brush

I paint your shoulder raw. 

    Why should it be, this lenience

playing seesaw on a libra scale

the innocence rises under my weight 

Somehow I'm still forgiven. 

    Myriad of blades

Waltz under my skin

With each rotation, gets dizzier

Wailing to be let out. 

    The clock's seconds hand

chimes a hollow song 

Touch this taste on my tongue

And swallow this scent, want it to linger. 

* 20:30

    I want my ribs to crush against yours

Tang of musk on our lips 

Crickets hum loudly

and moths are drawn to the light bulb

like a soft suicide on my front door. 

    the old guitarist's blue 

cedarwood and bergamot's burgundy

your eyes are brown

mine floats in seawater. 

    just one more time

    one more kiss

    one more clench of your arms around my body 

    one more five more minutes 

    The longer I cling onto you

the harder it is to see. 

* after you left 

    i press my forehead to the mattress begging god to fix me 

i search in the air for something of you that still lingers (there's nothing)

You don't understand love until you love

don't understand desperation until you lose.

this isn't our last time

but i have never wanted you to stay an extra minute so, so, 

so badly.

i love you.

i'm waiting for you to return. 

    I'm sorry for crying

as i told you, it is not my turn to burn.

so i love you

and im waiting. 

*****

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Note: daniel if you're reading this i miss you very much. i know you told me to not beat myself up over what happened today but i can't help myself. it's all good tho. i love you. sleep well <3