Cin-digi Journal

Suck the blood off of my bone Morsel of flesh on your tongue Winter nights, bloodshot eyes Slit my throat, love me alive. Like bile, blood rises Into the toilet bowl you scream Did you see your reflection in the crimson excrement? Love is a suffocating meal so decapitate me. Does the skin ever resist? Does the tongue ever give in? Through my ribs you're tearing What are you looking for? —said, a promise I'm dilapidating.  And the heart never stopped pulsing and the blood never stopped running You bite into my carcass —lousy entrails. Feast of a lifetime My stomach inside yours  A vulture in a tux Putrescent odor. Singing heart valves The pleasure of your belligerent feasting through the cracks of your teeth, my intestine lining still fresh Blood pools. Offal squelching  You revel on top of my putrefaction. I'm warm in your arms tonight brain matter down your throat, tonight. Call me a cheshire cat the way I smile The crooked, gummy smile Depleted of teeth  so they're...

 Dear Santa, It's been a chaotic year Even though I've cried, I was still nice Let's hope the last day's sky is clear! Dear Santa, I wish for warmth of love Who came has came and who left has left I'm done mourning the ones who left And pain, I keep at bay, grace for those who'll stay. Dear Santa, On the night of Eve I learned to choose myself And I will sleep a night free of guilt. So dear, Santa A white Christmas? or a pink Porsche? Maybe...dear Santa... A day of peace? Dear Santa,  I will sleep with no regret My arms are full of scars But this night, will be the best So good that I won't wake up tomorrow. Santa, pass on the words When you slide down our chimney Leave a sealed letter Tell no one to worry! A stuffed bunny Baking gloves and snow gear Made it known I did it  Before I disappear. But maybe spare the bunny Says it's from you The baby —hasn't learned of death and fear. Dear Santa, in insomnia I'm a child over again Stayed up waiting f...

We were sixteen when you had on your sundress Dancing avidly Now I watch you stub out your third cigarette  Through the smoke you can't see me.  Where along the way did I lose you To thorns of roses, to blunt snowflakes? You started reading Poe Vaping polluted cotton candy. And we spent the 17th summer in town I would drag you to the pond  Far behind the train tracks  I taught you how to smoke, and We laughed when you choked.  The 18th winter I moved out  Carrying your heavy words On that Sunday without a cloud That time you skipped church. Soon we were twenty In the middle of New York City I watch as you lie on the bathroom floor, half naked Breathing in lines Dreaming of hometown neon signs. The numbing warmth, flash over your eyes A camera shutter of your fifth birthday I was outside but you didn't call out And you passed without a sound. Twenty-five  A ring I never gave to you Cleaning out our apartment closet And found that sundress you wore. You...

I would like a kiss Before you leave tonight For you shall feel the torpid bliss I've always tried to hide. Mask of Soteria, you run Carrying the heavens on your shoulders In those theatrical lies you hunt Too busy miming an abater. I hope you feel how pathetic I was Waiting for you in the August rain Those promises you made Stay an unanswered refrain. My love is a wide-eyed deer Amidst your jamming gun Pretending to safe me from the sharks Yet you were the one who dug my wounds. Mask of Soteria, perhaps a firefighter Throwing yourself into the flame In my room you saved a cat My breathing corpse you stepped over. The Goddess will forgive you for what you did Although my bruised heart won't Fall to my feet and beg for it The salvation, not Soteria, but I, hold. Foolish is me who wished to be loved Deceived myself for the sake of your fun This rage should rise like forest smoke And char away the path you run. But for now, you're still the firefighter My corpse y...

     On the morning after the suicide  There was a bedsheet, stained pink There was blood and too loud of a cry The crimson dust, the rising sun.      Hello How have you been? It's been a while Since you last told me "We'd be together forever."     I probably didn't even notice  That you were missing that morning I probably didn't even notice That you were not recovering.     Too early for the sun but too late for the moon We hover over unfinished promises. Too late for your death yet too early for mine Although when you bled out on the bed A part of me was already decaying.     Now I'm halfway across the world While you're sleeping cold at home Out to enjoy my youth While yours stays unbothered. ********* 22:08 ~ Quick poem. Dedicated to my friend Cherry.

 The world has abandoned me now When will it be your turn  To burn our memories And throw my ashes in the clouds? Tell me, baby Did it hurt when you woke up that morning And I was nowhere to be seen? Because it sure killed me When I relapsed thinking of you I can't stay clean for long. No, my skin can't stay untouched for long No, not when you're still here Here, among all the things I love, but utterly fear. One night, lying in our bed With you by my side I couldn't rest So I turned to face the moonlight And cried instead. Tell me, baby Did it hurt when you woke up that morning And I was nowhere to be seen? You promised to give me the world Yet now I'm reminiscing Wondering if I was ever worth it at all. You know you're an addiction It hurts to keep feeding But I can't quit cutting. One day, you keep me from dying The others... reek of desperation. I hide razor blades in my vanity But hoped that you'd find and take them away from me But no, you saw the ...

"Hết kháng chiến nếu con còn chưa về Mẹ ơi, vui lên, mẹ có đứa con anh hùng."           Nineteen seventy-two Twelve nights I still remember One hell of a capital. Linebacker number two Winter I still remember The way our capital burned up fire and bombs after bombs and fire A feverish nightmare.      I don't want to remember The decrepit ruins, the collapsed buildings    homes, and schools, libraries, and hospitals Toddlers who died in bomb shelters.  I don't want to remember  The way my beloved went up in flame How Hà Nội, oh, our dear Hà Nội B fifty-two, we were their first aim.       For twelve nights, the bombing did not stop Even after we have shot down their flying metal fortress Even after we have lost limbs Fighting the beast with our bare hands.  Shredded, our lungs Evacuated, families Sacrificed, the pionniers  Us, never-returning sons and daughters.       ...